The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
