East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Green mimosas i think yes
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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