you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
