It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
