My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
