well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
