The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
