Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
