I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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