i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
