Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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