I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
