shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
