If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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