I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
