You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
