Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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