What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
