so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
