Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
