right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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