It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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