I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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