i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
