she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
