and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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