i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
