the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So squirting runs in the family.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
