bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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