he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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