Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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