im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
