we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
