my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
