zippers are such a cool invention
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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