Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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