i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Randomize
