i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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