So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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