? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize