Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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