she was so not down for the gang bang
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
