I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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