nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
