White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
