Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
