worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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