I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
