1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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