All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I want is dick and wine.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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