Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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