Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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