She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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