Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
