there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
