I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
