I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
