Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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