areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
