My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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