Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
