Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
