So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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