We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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