You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
