my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
